Coyoty eats Sour Watermelon Peeps (so you don’t have to).

“Ingredients: Sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, fumaric acid, citric acid, pectin, contains less than 0.5% of the following: Natural and artificial flavor, Yellow #5 Lake, Red #40, Yellow #5 (tartrazine), potassium sorbate (a preservative), Blue #1 Lake, Blue #1, carnauba wax. Gluten free.” I don’t see any watermelon.

They taste like they look, very artificial and as unnaturally flavored as they are colored.

Fumaric acid is used to make them sour. It’s produced in bacteria, fungi, lichen, Iceland moss, and human skin that’s exposed to sunlight. If you don’t have these Peeps, you might get the same satisfaction by going out in the sun naked and licking yourself.

Carnauba wax is used as a car wax as well as a food additive. It’s a floor wax. It’s a dessert topping. It’s a pill and candy coating. It’s a furniture polish. It makes things shiny. It makes things that aren’t good enough to eat look good enough to eat.

“Satisfaction Guarantee: Quality candy is our family tradition.”

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